Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Back to Blighty

One week after Sam&Rich visit I return to England, I got one of the best surprises every when Tasha met me from airport with Layla!! She sits on my luggage trolly with her arms outstretched like The King of the world from Titanic.
I essentially return home for my friends daughters wedding which was a fab old time,  Samantha looked incredibly beautiful in a stunning dress and I got to be on the 'mates' table which is always the best one. Karen (mother) instructed the bar staff to just keep the wine coming to our table which it inevitably did Hurrah!  My dear friend Matthew - affectionately know as Moth Man (as he looks like a college professor all worldly, anyway I digress,) he was approached by a young lad of about 25 to ask if he knew where he could get any Viagra to which Moth replied "do I look like someone who knows about the supply of Viagra??" best comment of the decade. This is the trouble when you give the Brits drinks they tend to get a bit naughty! It was a lovely way to catch up with old friends and probably on England's hottest day of the year :)


It was also the time of the Queens Jubilee so i attended street parties, watched the concert and the appalling river day which was a disaster, poor Queenie. Needless to say my neighbour got me tickets to my street party, therefore what follows her you will see is clearly her fault...

Saturday street Party, now as I am lucky enough to live in private housed road I don't have to see my neighbour's and in all honesty have no clear idea what they look like! I can tell you now that they are pretty old. Vonni and I go and look at where we are to set up and get told we are to go down the end, there are some very strange looking old ladies wrapped in bunting and the Vicar has a Burger King crown on with the imaginative addition of cotton wool balls all the way around.... no need to say any more on that attire. Anyhow the music is essentially Matt Monroe and other old crooners, this is not boding well as I turn to Von with a questioning look she yells at me "This is all your fault"  How is this pray tell I've been living in Canada, you got me the tickets and you don't even live in the road is my questions!!!  She's having none of it and blames me regardless, so dear friends there is only one solution when faced with a despot party just get pissed, which is what we all proceeded to do, some with more gusto than others mentioning no names....Vonni.  Luckily I had Layla with me who was a complete nightmare with running off all over the graveyard that could go into the road and indeed Claire (my sister) and I stuck it out for 2 hours before we gave in. Now I had a bonafide excuse to leave as everyone wanted the noise gone, but Von had to stay as she has gone ahead and invited 18 further people - none of which live in the road Ha Ha! The party got worse if you can believe it, we were told Mavis would be our resident artist, I thought that meant she was a Cartoonist it turns out she is some old warbler who terrorises people with her singing!!! Oh god it was terrible, NEXT was the Vicars tea party with all the old biddies rushing to sit next to the Vicar - honestly what this man has to put up with! It was dreadful and Von & Co just waltzed in and straight back out again Ha Ha.
Now the next party at Tracey & Matthews was much better and a true reflection of just how a street party should be held. Later that evening Claire and I watched the Amazeballs concert until the small hours. It was just so brilliant and made you really proud to be British, we really do these things so well.
Anyway suffice to say that very surprisingly for me every day and evening was jam packed so much so that I had to let some people down which I feel terrible about.  All too soon the trip is over and back to Canada...

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